What happened to a good hand shake?

[crossface21]

Our conference, the MVC, did away with the post match handshake with coaches a couple years ago. I believe you can even lose a team point for it. When we go to tournaments, they have been trained so well, that opposing coaches look a little puzzled sometimes when our kids just walk past them. But the post match handshake between individuals is still important, I believe anyways. I don't even like the quick hand slip when you lose. You had your chance to win the match, the same as the other person. Show them some respect, shake there hand, and figure how to beat them next time. So then they have to show you respect.

Southeast Conference did away with it a few years ago as well. In our first dual of the year this year, a ref actually kinda yelled at a kid for doing it saying "we're not gonna be doing that tonight".

[imnofish]

Hard to trust anything PS posts in the future however the correction to my post was appropriate.

Yeah, I didn't personally find it inappropriate.  However, I did get the impression that he/she was naive about current online etiquette standards.  My intent was to try and clarify those and diffuse a potential argument.  Hopefully, there was no residual problem.  Props to you for being gracious about being corrected.  Not everyone can do that.

[bigG]

Not cool to bring up Nazis.  And I am a woman.  More sexist rhetoric. 

I'm gonna guess that the word guy would come from the fact that 99.73456% of posts are from dudes.

Ya'll been punked.   Not a woman, but I am sensitive.

Really?      You really do write like a woman.   How's that for some sexist rhetoric? 

Ah, but he "breaks just like a little ...girl." JK, or course, Had to have some Dylan this AM.

[madeyson]

Before and after a match with your opponent - it is a sign of respect for your opponent and the sport. Using the handshake as a opportunity to showboat or throw a fit is disrespectful. Yes - call me old school but today I see too many wrestlers that think they are above the sport...and their team. A majority of the best wrestlers have the discipline to respect their opponent - win or lose.

[bigG]

Not old fashioned. Just never goes out of style. I get the attention to concussions and all; but there's not need to allow hissy fits and  childish behavior. Any time one of my wrestlers acted out like that I'd say "where the heck was that temper during the match?!...Next time, let's see it when you're actually wrestling."

[Oldtimer]

I'm probably in the minority here but I don't really have an issue with the hand slap vs hand shake as a show of respect.  I think that is the current generation's method of showing respect.  I see it at all levels.  However, I believe the rule book requires a hand shake.

[bkraus]

I talk to wrestlers in the pre-meet about winning and losing with dignity and I expect a solid handshake at the beginning and end of every match.  I will even demonstrate with the closest wrestler to me.  Going to the corners and shaking hands is no longer allowed per rule and can be a team point deduction.  It all stemmed from some coach somewhere down south punching a kid after a close match.  I remind all kids at the end of every match to go to their corners and try to keep my hand on the winner's arm to remind them of that.  It is easier to do at duals than tourneys though.

[Barou]

Our conference, the MVC, did away with the post match handshake with coaches a couple years ago. I believe you can even lose a team point for it. When we go to tournaments, they have been trained so well, that opposing coaches look a little puzzled sometimes when our kids just walk past them. But the post match handshake between individuals is still important, I believe anyways. I don't even like the quick hand slip when you lose. You had your chance to win the match, the same as the other person. Show them some respect, shake there hand, and figure how to beat them next time. So then they have to show you respect.

MVC is doing it right!!

[neutral]

I'm probably in the minority here but I don't really have an issue with the hand slap vs hand shake as a show of respect.  I think that is the current generation's method of showing respect.  I see it at all levels.  However, I believe the rule book requires a hand shake.

There's a difference between an informal hand slap of congratulations and a dismissive hand slap of "since I've gotta do this" ... and it's very evident in the attitude conveyed.  But since that allows for degrees of acceptability/interpretation ... a proper handshake is the only way to convey proper sportsmanship.

Coaches should insist on it.  It falls under the category of team discipline.

[ramjet]

I talk to wrestlers in the pre-meet about winning and losing with dignity and I expect a solid handshake at the beginning and end of every match.  I will even demonstrate with the closest wrestler to me.  Going to the corners and shaking hands is no longer allowed per rule and can be a team point deduction.  It all stemmed from some coach somewhere down south punching a kid after a close match.  I remind all kids at the end of every match to go to their corners and try to keep my hand on the winner's arm to remind them of that.  It is easier to do at duals than tourneys though.

Thats what it all about, teaching and making your expectations known.

[npope]

I have a tough time (and a fundamental disagreement with many of you) when it comes to forcing kids to "show respect". If you made a wrestler go back on the mat to shake hands, he didn't "show respect" when he went back out there. He took an order. I feel the same way with regard to standing for the anthem. If the NFL made every NFL player stand for the anthem, even those that didn't feel compelled to do so otherwise, they aren't all showing respect to the country at that point. They are following the rules. The same as wearing the correct length of socks.

That is, you can only truly choose to do something, if you have the option to not do it.

Yes, simply making them do something doesn't mean squat. That said, it is a step in the right direction and may foster a subsequent conversation as to what all of the fuss was about.

[ramjet]

Making them or not, it sends a clear message the if original behavior was unacceptable and it is a step in modifying future behavior. That with some one on one disabling and discussion as to the reasons my hit home...So you are correct JW we disagree but looking the prospective above as I asserted you must agree doing nothing will certainly not reply in the ing man or lady understanding the rules of respect.

[ramjet]

I may not be getting my point across about the respect premis of the handshake.

Both wrestlers put themselves out on an island in front of everyone in that venue.
Both wrestlers work hard to participate in wrestling.
Both wrestlers participate in one of the most physically demanding and humbling sports we have in HS.
Both owe it to each other and to themselves to say "good job" and "way to work".

The Handshake is respect as it represents all of the above.

[mhsfan2]

 I like the hand shake before and after. Shaking the other coaches hand my kids do not. I've taken some slack from club parents for not requiring it but I have seen to many parents {I will not call them coaches} get abusive when my kids were young.

[imnofish]

I have been immersed in Wrestling for the past 54 years and I've never seen a high school coach refuse to shake an opposing wrestler's hand.  I did hear of one such incident about 40 years ago (the wrestler was my brother and the head coach was our father), but they didn't make a big deal about it.  However, when it comes to fathers coaching in youth programs, I have seen some pretty hot tempers displayed toward my son after a win...   and he wasn't even approaching the "coach."  I always responded by stepping between the man and my son, putting an arm around my boy's shoulders, and silently walking him away from the aggressor.  One of them followed along and kept screaming at us.  He was promptly expelled from the tournament, though.  Based on these experiences, I don't recommend having youth wrestlers shake opposing coaches' hands, because there is just too much emotion involved.  As for high school wrestlers, I think it's a very safe bet that the coaches will act like mature adults toward any competitor extending his hand.