Alzheimer's

[TomM]

Alzheimer's disease
My dad is going to be 87 in April. He has Alzheimer's disease.  Has been in assisted living since 2009.  This past November we moved him to 'memory care'... a step after assisted living.  He is doing great physically. He is safe and what I would call 'content'... Wishes he was not there, but gets along fine.  I originally intended to keep him with me, but now see this would have been way too overwhelming and even dangerous.
Anybody else dealing with Alzheimer's disease in any way, shape or form?

[imnofish]

Sorry to hear about your dad.  My mom resides in a memory care unit, due to this debilitating disease.  My dad goes out to see her every day.  They are both 79 and have been married since they were 18.  It is really tough on dad, especially as mom has deteriorated substantially over the past year.  My heart goes out to you; I know firsthand how difficult it is to see a loved one go through this. 

[padre]

Two grandparents over recent years.  Very difficult for everyone when it neared the end for relatives and my grandparents.  I wish you the best of luck....

[Todd]

Alzheimer's disease
My dad is going to be 87 in April. He has Alzheimer's disease.  Has been in assisted living since 2009.  This past November we moved him to 'memory care'... a step after assisted living.  He is doing great physically. He is safe and what I would call 'content'... Wishes he was not there, but gets along fine.  I originally intended to keep him with me, but now see this would have been way too overwhelming and even dangerous.
Anybody else dealing with Alzheimer's disease in any way, shape or form?

Tom, I'm sorry you are having to deal with this.   My grandfather passed away at 87 in 2006 after a 10 year battle with Alzheimer's.  It was a long painful decent for my grandfather who I looked to as one of my hero's.  My grandmother did everything she could to care for him at home but eventually he went to "memory care".  They were great with him and yeah physically he was pretty good but memory and self care wise it was too much for him or my grandmother.  I hope you are accessing some of the books that are out there on coping with when a loved one is stricken with this disease.  

The decision for "memory care" was probably the best way to care for your father.  You did the right thing having him with those that can help him when confused and struggling with memory.  I hope that you find peace in the memories you have had with your father and solace within your family during this current time.  

Take Care.

[Dale Einerson]

Sorry to learn of this Tom...

My Grandmother on my Mom's side...very sad to watch, my Aunt was primary caregiver right up until the very end and it was very taxing.  She remembered me as a young boy for quite awhile, then no recognition of anyone including my Aunt.

My Mother was diagnosed with cancer and died a month from the date of diagnosis.  I truly believe it was suicide by cancer as my Mother didn't want to be a burden to her family and feared alzheimers her entire adult life.  Turns out I was the only one in the family Mom told she was never getting out of the hospital.  A couple of days later she suffered multiple strokes and passed a couple of days later. When I shared what Mom said, it shocked my Dad and Sister as Mom had been so strong and so positive with them.  I took it as a privilege she was honest and open with me, it appears she shared with us based on what we could handle. 

Mom went fast, no prolonged cancer treatments, no alzheimers, no burden.  Never was, ever.  But what an experience for Mom to never want herself and her loved ones to go through. 

My best wishes Tom.  Know you did the right thing...those caregivers can be amazing...

[littleguy301]

My grandma on my dads side suffered from this. She passed 20 years ago and how my grandpa handled it made it very tough for my dad and his siblings.

Sorry to hear this Tom, I wish you the best

[DrSnide]

My grandmother recently passed away after suffering for years.  We first noticed it after she kept getting my oldest son and myself confused (in fairness he is pretty much a clone of his father - I call him mini-me) despite the 24 year age difference and got worse from there.  For us it was a sad, gradual fading from our lives till the point she finally passed away she was virtually a stranger except in our memories 

I agree with the others, memory care is a great move.  The emotional toll of being a primary caregiver is pretty overwhelming for family members and in the end tarnishes all the postivie memories you have.

I wish the best for you, treasure the "good days" you have left, you will be glad you did.

[Scourge]

This is one of the saddest things I come across. 

When you're in your 40's-50's when it's affordable because people don't think about getting a short term insurance policy or a long term insurance policy because they don't think it can happen to them.

But I get so many calls from people in Tom's position and they see the just outrageous costs of home health care, someone to come in your home and at least provide additional assistance so family can take a break, or help pay for a private nursing home(the care can vary so dramatically having a Grandmother, Mom, and 3 aunts all work in nursing homes, both private and public). 

And the Government can take away almost your entire savings and everything you have. 


I've seen how devastating it can be to an entire family, financially, but more importantly financially as family members, usually the children obviously try to take care of a parent until it just becomes too overwhelming.