Angry parents and fans reportedly forcing high school referees to quit

[TomM]

Angry parents and fans reportedly forcing high school referees to quit

https://www.goodmorningamerica.com/family/video/angry-parents-fans-reportedly-forcing-high-school-referees-60309185

[imnofish]

Pretty sad to see how low so many have fallen.  I recall my father refereeing basketball games, back in the early 60s, and having to protect himself from two guys who came out of the stands after him at the end of a game.  His first punch knocked the first guy out, which immediately convinced the other one to back off.  Dad felt terrible about the whole situation, but it was an obvious case of self-defense.  That experience led him to give up officiating, because he just didn't feel it was worth the aggravation.  The good news was that he soon started coaching wrestling, after that.  Back in the mid 70s, I officiated wrestling down in Illinois.  At a middle school dual meet, a wrestler's older brother went ballistic when the kid got pinned.  He tried to come out onto the mat and wanted to fight me.  He was immediately removed from the premises.  Several years ago, a school district in our area had just about all of their athletic coaches quit at the end of the school year, because the parents had become so abusive to the coaches.  I have no problems with non-teachers who coach, but that district had a difficult time filling and keeping those coaching positions consistently staffed.  It was just like we are seeing with sports officials; new coaches lasted a few years and moved on, because of the adult behaviors displayed at contests.  So, this stuff has been around a long time, but it apparently happens way too often these days.  Luckily, over the past dozen years or so, I've seen very few incidents, though. 

[factfinder]

Pretty sad to see how low so many have fallen.  I recall my father refereeing basketball games, back in the early 60s, and having to protect himself from two guys who came out of the stands after him at the end of a game.  His first punch knocked the first guy out, which immediately convinced the other one to back off.  Dad felt terrible about the whole situation, but it was an obvious case of self-defense.  That experience led him to give up officiating, because he just didn't feel it was worth the aggravation.  The good news was that he soon started coaching wrestling, after that.  Back in the mid 70s, I officiated wrestling down in Illinois.  At a middle school dual meet, a wrestler's older brother went ballistic when the kid got pinned.  He tried to come out onto the mat and wanted to fight me.  He was immediately removed from the premises.  Several years ago, a school district in our area had just about all of their athletic coaches quit at the end of the school year, because the parents had become so abusive to the coaches.  I have no problems with non-teachers who coach, but that district had a difficult time filling and keeping those coaching positions consistently staffed.  It was just like we are seeing with sports officials; new coaches lasted a few years and moved on, because of the adult behaviors displayed at contests.  So, this stuff has been around a long time, but it apparently happens way too often these days.  Luckily, over the past dozen years or so, I've seen very few incidents, though. 

So you are saying nothing has really changed!!!  I think I agree
I can recall a situation in the late 80's watching referee's running out of a gym. I also remember a dad (from the other team) punching a kid on our team and I am 100% positive nothing was ever done to him. In 1988 one of my good friends was fired as the head football coach because he threw the ball 10x a game and the parents were upset that they went away from the wishbone.  lol
Nothing has changed, parents are always going to be a challenge and some coaches and officials are not very good. There is no cure to over the top parenting and bad coaches and bad referees. Not everyone can be perfect??right

[imnofish]

Pretty sad to see how low so many have fallen.  I recall my father refereeing basketball games, back in the early 60s, and having to protect himself from two guys who came out of the stands after him at the end of a game.  His first punch knocked the first guy out, which immediately convinced the other one to back off.  Dad felt terrible about the whole situation, but it was an obvious case of self-defense.  That experience led him to give up officiating, because he just didn't feel it was worth the aggravation.  The good news was that he soon started coaching wrestling, after that.  Back in the mid 70s, I officiated wrestling down in Illinois.  At a middle school dual meet, a wrestler's older brother went ballistic when the kid got pinned.  He tried to come out onto the mat and wanted to fight me.  He was immediately removed from the premises.  Several years ago, a school district in our area had just about all of their athletic coaches quit at the end of the school year, because the parents had become so abusive to the coaches.  I have no problems with non-teachers who coach, but that district had a difficult time filling and keeping those coaching positions consistently staffed.  It was just like we are seeing with sports officials; new coaches lasted a few years and moved on, because of the adult behaviors displayed at contests.  So, this stuff has been around a long time, but it apparently happens way too often these days.  Luckily, over the past dozen years or so, I've seen very few incidents, though. 

So you are saying nothing has really changed!!!  I think I agree
I can recall a situation in the late 80's watching referee's running out of a gym. I also remember a dad (from the other team) punching a kid on our team and I am 100% positive nothing was ever done to him. In 1988 one of my good friends was fired as the head football coach because he threw the ball 10x a game and the parents were upset that they went away from the wishbone.  lol
Nothing has changed, parents are always going to be a challenge and some coaches and officials are not very good. There is no cure to over the top parenting and bad coaches and bad referees. Not everyone can be perfect??right

No.  I'm saying that there have always been isolated cases of parental/fan misconduct, but that more of it is occurring than in the past, according to the officials.  I have been fortunate to witness very few incidents over the past few years, but it is the officials whom are seeing more evidence of today's version of fan rage.  That's because they are immersed in their role, the public's perception of it, and the expansion of fan misconduct beyond the limits of the gymnasium.  Reports of negative encounters in school parking lots, at restaurants, and other places away from the mat certainly are red flags.  I am but a fan in the stands, who experiences the sport on a very limited basis when compared to an official's voluminous experiences, on and off the mat.  The "guys in the trenches" are responding to the realities that guys like me don't experience.  Their actions and words are consistent with their collective realities and the rapid decline in qualified officials.  The last thing we should do is ignore their concerns and even settle for the status quo.  If we want our children and grandchildren to have the opportunity to wrestle competitively, then we'd better start policing ourselves and our neighbors, relative to our collective and individual rhetoric and respect for personal boundaries. 

[DocWrestling]

How does this stop?

We need consequences for actions of parents.  Youth wrestling parents are worse than high school coaches!  Why is that?  There are no consequences for youth parents.

Good people and administrators need to support and embolden referees
1) Referees need to warn more quickly and then kick out people more often and not feel bad
2) Administrators need to support their decisions and back them up and get rid of the people

As soon as people/coaches start getting ejected and suspended from attending future events things will get better.  For youth baseball here, 2 years ago we emboldened the umps (high school kids) to not take any crap and eject coaches and parents from stands.  We backed them up.  Last year we had minimal issues.  The point gets across.

In a way the refs have allowed this to happen by accepting the abuse.  Take a stand and start somewhere and things will begin to change.  Give a warning and then all is fair if that same person continues and warrants ejection.

In a way administrators have brought this on themselves by not backing up refs or allowing things to happen in stands even if ref is not reacting

We have lots of unruly coaches and fans and everyone recognizes the problem yet when is the last time you have seen anyone ejected out of a sporting event!  That is the only consequence we have.

[bkraus]

In a way the refs have allowed this to happen by accepting the abuse.  Take a stand and start somewhere and things will begin to change.  Give a warning and then all is fair if that same person continues and warrants ejection.

Majority of the time it is hard to identify who you are receiving the abuse from exactly.  You are focused on the action on the mat, not in the stands.  And if they don't approach you directly, it can be difficult.  I think it more lays in the hands of game managers and administrators to enforce the acceptability standards.  A lot of time, they are too afraid of the parents/fans to do anything about it.

[ramjet]

Youth programs have the opportunity to get this under control by having education and rules for their wrestlers and the parents and the program.

Now youth is somewhat different than HS in that the refs need to be consistent and to welcome new refs and mentor athletes hem with respect.

[factfinder]

Pretty sad to see how low so many have fallen.  I recall my father refereeing basketball games, back in the early 60s, and having to protect himself from two guys who came out of the stands after him at the end of a game.  His first punch knocked the first guy out, which immediately convinced the other one to back off.  Dad felt terrible about the whole situation, but it was an obvious case of self-defense.  That experience led him to give up officiating, because he just didn't feel it was worth the aggravation.  The good news was that he soon started coaching wrestling, after that.  Back in the mid 70s, I officiated wrestling down in Illinois.  At a middle school dual meet, a wrestler's older brother went ballistic when the kid got pinned.  He tried to come out onto the mat and wanted to fight me.  He was immediately removed from the premises.  Several years ago, a school district in our area had just about all of their athletic coaches quit at the end of the school year, because the parents had become so abusive to the coaches.  I have no problems with non-teachers who coach, but that district had a difficult time filling and keeping those coaching positions consistently staffed.  It was just like we are seeing with sports officials; new coaches lasted a few years and moved on, because of the adult behaviors displayed at contests.  So, this stuff has been around a long time, but it apparently happens way too often these days.  Luckily, over the past dozen years or so, I've seen very few incidents, though. 

So you are saying nothing has really changed!!!  I think I agree
I can recall a situation in the late 80's watching referee's running out of a gym. I also remember a dad (from the other team) punching a kid on our team and I am 100% positive nothing was ever done to him. In 1988 one of my good friends was fired as the head football coach because he threw the ball 10x a game and the parents were upset that they went away from the wishbone.  lol
Nothing has changed, parents are always going to be a challenge and some coaches and officials are not very good. There is no cure to over the top parenting and bad coaches and bad referees. Not everyone can be perfect??right

No.  I'm saying that there have always been isolated cases of parental/fan misconduct, but that more of it is occurring than in the past, according to the officials.  I have been fortunate to witness very few incidents over the past few years, but it is the officials whom are seeing more evidence of today's version of fan rage.  That's because they are immersed in their role, the public's perception of it, and the expansion of fan misconduct beyond the limits of the gymnasium.  Reports of negative encounters in school parking lots, at restaurants, and other places away from the mat certainly are red flags.  I am but a fan in the stands, who experiences the sport on a very limited basis when compared to an official's voluminous experiences, on and off the mat.  The "guys in the trenches" are responding to the realities that guys like me don't experience.  Their actions and words are consistent with their collective realities and the rapid decline in qualified officials.  The last thing we should do is ignore their concerns and even settle for the status quo.  If we want our children and grandchildren to have the opportunity to wrestle competitively, then we'd better start policing ourselves and our neighbors, relative to our collective and individual rhetoric and respect for personal boundaries. 

I am in agreement that these things shouldn't be over looked and that accountability for abusive behavior is overdue. What I am saying as an older guy myself that the parents today from what I witness don't look or act any different then from 10-20 years ago. This labeling parents crap is BS by the 50+ crowd, things were just as bad years ago. I am only saying get off the high horse and admit its been going on sense the 1950's, just watch Hoosiers!! That's a little tongue in cheek but go back and watch sports movies from the 50s - 1990's and remind yourself of what it used to actually look like and get off this fiction that there was world class behavior and sportsmanship during games and matches. Its always been an ugly part of sports, and again I am not saying it shouldn't change I am simply saying its always been bad.

[ChargerDad]

Yes there has always been cases of poorly behaved adults at youth through HS sporting events..  But, if you think it's not worse now than it has been historically, you are just not wanting to see what's going on..    I saw an article in the Star Tribune recently that there were athletic events that had to be postponed because no officials were available on the scheduled date.  The problem is real.  Officials are quitting, very few new officials are starting, and what it means is that the official that quit because he didn't want to deal with loudmouth obnoxious fans created an empty vacuum that was likely filled by a less capable official..  This is a problem that often stems from parents, fans, and sometimes coaches who think the results of a particular match matter more than they do, and who through the glasses shaded by their fandom, believe their team is being jobbed by the official..     

It is even worse at the youth level than at the HS level..  At National ES and MS dual tournaments, it's not uncommon to have tournament organizers request security and law enforcement officials be mat side during matches to try and keep peace.  That has come to be considered normal, and it doesn't always work.  I witnessed the son of the organizer of a high level national series of tournaments in Tulsa and Reno ejected from the facility as coach of his Oklahoma team in Virginia Beach at the Holiday Duals this year, complaining over officiating in a dual his team was being destroyed in, a dual that had reached a point where it was impossible for them to win..  So it's even people that are supposed to be doing, and proclaim to be doing whats best for the sport that are sometimes guilty.  You have many of those guilty of mistreating officials justifying their behavior by saying the officiating isn't good, that they are paid officials and we should expect more.. 

As fans and parents at sporting events, it's time to grow up.  It's time to be more respectful towards officials.  It's time to understand that acting like a horses rear isn't going to change the result of whatever event you are at, and that it's only going to contribute to a more serious officiating shortage.  it's also time to understand that scholarships aren't being handed out on a daily basis in HS gyms and fields, and that even if they were, crazy parents would likely be a reason a college coach decides to pass on wanting your kid to be on their team.

[O Harris]

Parents and fans of the kids are way too involved. They don't want to see their kid fail and get hurt in the process. Playing sports is about winning, losing, teamwork and learning to work with others. I believe too many participation trophies have been handed out in the last five years and kids don't know how to lose. Mom and Dad are always coming to the rescue. So when parents see things not going their way they scream and yell. Parents need to learn their place and support the coaches, team and all the players.

[ramjet]

Ben Askren recently shared this and to me it says it all very well;

"Gregory Martin (father of Myles Martin) Wrestling parents always ask me what's been my secret regarding Myles development. Answer always the same, took him where he needed to go, let the coaches coach, and leave him alone. Parents can't want something more than the kid. Don't be an _____-_____ parent and miss the entire journey." 

[imwi]

Ben Askren recently shared this and to me it says it all very well;

"Gregory Martin (father of Myles Martin) Wrestling parents always ask me what's been my secret regarding Myles development. Answer always the same, took him where he needed to go, let the coaches coach, and leave him alone. Parents can't want something more than the kid. Don't be an _____-_____ parent and miss the entire journey." 

"Here are all the tweets Gregory Martin sent out in that series, worth repeating I think since we're on this topic"

"Process has been great, I watched my son go from losing a Freshmen wrestle off in high school to making the fi"nals  in States/National preps as a Freshmen in the wrong weight class  to winning both 3 years in a row! It's called development so wrestling parents enjoy the process."

"He got to college I trusted the coaches, I wanted him to shirt but they knew better. All I  witnessed  is improvement. I have watched him  more then anybody &  I always told my family was when the mental caught up to the skill watch out. I think I'm witnessing that come to pass"

"Sorry just thought some parents and internet trolls needed to hear that"

"Lastly as you can see he was raised to respect the sport, his opponent and people. With the world of antics that's what im most proud of, people can critique flaws in  his wrestling but who you are as a person is what will carry you through life"

[factfinder]

Ben Askren recently shared this and to me it says it all very well;

"Gregory Martin (father of Myles Martin) Wrestling parents always ask me what's been my secret regarding Myles development. Answer always the same, took him where he needed to go, let the coaches coach, and leave him alone. Parents can't want something more than the kid. Don't be an _____-_____ parent and miss the entire journey." 

"Here are all the tweets Gregory Martin sent out in that series, worth repeating I think since we're on this topic"

"Process has been great, I watched my son go from losing a Freshmen wrestle off in high school to making the fi"nals  in States/National preps as a Freshmen in the wrong weight class  to winning both 3 years in a row! It's called development so wrestling parents enjoy the process."

"He got to college I trusted the coaches, I wanted him to shirt but they knew better. All I  witnessed  is improvement. I have watched him  more then anybody &  I always told my family was when the mental caught up to the skill watch out. I think I'm witnessing that come to pass"

"Sorry just thought some parents and internet trolls needed to hear that"

"Lastly as you can see he was raised to respect the sport, his opponent and people. With the world of antics that's what im most proud of, people can critique flaws in  his wrestling but who you are as a person is what will carry you through life"

Mr. Martin is a smart man and willing to do what it takes put his son in the best situation to experience success. First he moved him from New Jersey and  enrolled him at McDonogh Prep in Maryland a wrestling factory with D1 caliber coaches that worked with and formed Miles into a D1 athlete.  Then he followed fellow Maryland prep wrestling star Kyle Snyder to Ohio to work with some of the best folkstyle coaches on the planet. Trust great coaches and their processes and they will make you a world champion.

[thequad]

I officiated for almost 30 years, since I quite I have realized that the best way to control an unruly fan is to have all the matches stopped and have the meet manager talk to the person causing the problem while the crowd watches. The individual causing the problem will be so embarrassed he will no longer be a problem.

[ramjet]

Ben Askren recently shared this and to me it says it all very well;

"Gregory Martin (father of Myles Martin) Wrestling parents always ask me what's been my secret regarding Myles development. Answer always the same, took him where he needed to go, let the coaches coach, and leave him alone. Parents can't want something more than the kid. Don't be an _____-_____ parent and miss the entire journey." 

"Here are all the tweets Gregory Martin sent out in that series, worth repeating I think since we're on this topic"

"Process has been great, I watched my son go from losing a Freshmen wrestle off in high school to making the fi"nals  in States/National preps as a Freshmen in the wrong weight class  to winning both 3 years in a row! It's called development so wrestling parents enjoy the process."

"He got to college I trusted the coaches, I wanted him to shirt but they knew better. All I  witnessed  is improvement. I have watched him  more then anybody &  I always told my family was when the mental caught up to the skill watch out. I think I'm witnessing that come to pass"

"Sorry just thought some parents and internet trolls needed to hear that"

"Lastly as you can see he was raised to respect the sport, his opponent and people. With the world of antics that's what im most proud of, people can critique flaws in  his wrestling but who you are as a person is what will carry you through life"

These quotes will hang in my training room where parents quietly watch their athletes train with us.