Need some ideas/thoughts on how you guys would handle a situation. This year our family moved to a new town which puts our son on a new wrestling team. Great team, great coach, great bunch of kids. The team accepted my son right away and made him part of the group. All is good. When it came time for skin fold my son was at 152...but to give himself options for later in the season he cut down a bit to make the skin fold at 145.
He comes into the room and owns the 152 spot on varsity...moving a kid that would have had it if my son didn't come to the school up a weight class. Or I should say the kid he beat out for 152 moved up to the next weight class above. Both kids did skin fold down to 145. My son pretty much can dominate the other kid in the practice room and the other kid will not challenge my son to a wrestle off after loosing the first wrestle off of the season.
So here is the problem...the other kids dad. He has constantly been crawling up mine and my spouses backside about when my son is going to drop to 145. We have made it clear that he probably will not drop until conference and he may not drop then. In my opinion my son is comfortable at 152...eating healthy and having a great season. Even though we have told the dad that our son may not drop and may not until the end of the season EVERY time we see him he asks and bugs and says "it would be nice if (his son) could be down at 152".
My son is not ready to commit in mid-December on a date that he may or may not drop weight classes. He is not even sure if he will drop...it is too early to tell at this point. Maybe by mid-January he will be sitting around 149 and 148 will not look so bad at that time. I just don't know.
The dad has even caught my son after practice several times to ask him when he thinks he is going to drop to 145. He is nice about it and we are the "new" guys in the room so I don't want to tell him to shut up and go away. I have told him that his son can challenge my son anytime to a wrestle off to take the spot away. I also told him that maybe his son wants to go down to 145 but he is constantly crawling up my son's and our butts about this. To the point that my son is getting sick of it.
We have been open with the coach about our son's plans to look at the weight class below and the coach is fine with it...
We don't want to have a fight or hard feelings with someone that is a teammate but how would any of you suggest to tell this guy to back off?
Sounds like Vision Quest
It's hard because you don't want to ruffle feathers, but at what point is enough enough? I'd talk to the coach who might have a previous relationship with this parent and seek his advice on how to handle this individual.
I would challenge the dad to a wrestle off. Done.
Real answer: Hard to say much without hearing both sides. Based on what you've said, it sounds like an awkward situation that won't have a quick/easy solution. I think you can be confident about the fact that your son has the right to not be approached repeatedly on the subject by an adult. Especially, if the adult is attempting to coerce the answer he wants to hear from the kid (emphasis on "kid"). I think you should say as much to the parent, and keep the coach in the loop. Hard feelings will be had on this deal though...I see no way around it.
Thanks for the thoughts so far. I was thinking it was a pretty easy situation...the kid challenges to a wrestle off. If he wins great...my kid goes to a different weight class or wrestles JV. If the other kid loses then he goes to a different weight class or wrestles JV. If my kid drops it gives the other kid an opportunity to decide he wants to go to the weight class vacated by my kid. If my kid doesn't drop then the other kid needs to decide he wants to be at the weight class my kid isn't at.
The kink coming up is that the kid at 170 just won the 160 spot and he is looking at the 152 spot. If that kid comes down to 152 and beats the other kid out he is kind of out in the cold unless he wants to drop to 145...he can't beat my kid at 152 (unless he is holding something back in practice...). I think that is what is making this dad nervous. I believe his kid was on JV last year and this was the year he should have had a spot on varsity. Then we screw it up and move into town.
I get it. But I think we have been very open with what we know...and at this point, we just don't know anything 100%
We just want to have these kids work with each other in the practice room and not worry about who is going where when. The dang sport is tough enough without having some pissing match starting between two kids that should be teammates and partners for the next 3 years.
Agreed. To the victor go the spoils.
Quote from: oneshot on December 17, 2015, 11:58:16 AM
Thanks for the thoughts so far. I was thinking it was a pretty easy situation...the kid challenges to a wrestle off. If he wins great...my kid goes to a different weight class or wrestles JV. If the other kid loses then he goes to a different weight class or wrestles JV. If my kid drops it gives the other kid an opportunity to decide he wants to go to the weight class vacated by my kid. If my kid doesn't drop then the other kid needs to decide he wants to be at the weight class my kid isn't at.
The kink coming up is that the kid at 170 just won the 160 spot and he is looking at the 152 spot. If that kid comes down to 152 and beats the other kid out he is kind of out in the cold unless he wants to drop to 145...he can't beat my kid at 152 (unless he is holding something back in practice...). I think that is what is making this dad nervous. I believe his kid was on JV last year and this was the year he should have had a spot on varsity. Then we screw it up and move into town.
I get it. But I think we have been very open with what we know...and at this point, we just don't know anything 100%
We just want to have these kids work with each other in the practice room and not worry about who is going where when. The dang sport is tough enough without having some pissing match starting between two kids that should be teammates and partners for the next 3 years.
Quote from: oneshot on December 17, 2015, 11:58:16 AM
Thanks for the thoughts so far. I was thinking it was a pretty easy situation...the kid challenges to a wrestle off. If he wins great...my kid goes to a different weight class or wrestles JV. If the other kid loses then he goes to a different weight class or wrestles JV. If my kid drops it gives the other kid an opportunity to decide he wants to go to the weight class vacated by my kid. If my kid doesn't drop then the other kid needs to decide he wants to be at the weight class my kid isn't at.
The kink coming up is that the kid at 170 just won the 160 spot and he is looking at the 152 spot. If that kid comes down to 152 and beats the other kid out he is kind of out in the cold unless he wants to drop to 145...he can't beat my kid at 152 (unless he is holding something back in practice...). I think that is what is making this dad nervous. I believe his kid was on JV last year and this was the year he should have had a spot on varsity. Then we screw it up and move into town.
I get it. But I think we have been very open with what we know...and at this point, we just don't know anything 100%
We just want to have these kids work with each other in the practice room and not worry about who is going where when. The dang sport is tough enough without having some pissing match starting between two kids that should be teammates and partners for the next 3 years.
It doesn't sound like the pissing match is between the kids.
I think this is simple the next time he asks, tell him you all talked it over and he is not going to drop...period. You won't hear about the rest of the year. If your son does drop, he changed his mind.
I had a similar situation, and that's what I did and it ended it.
Good luck.
I don't think it is a pissing match between the kids at all at this time...Houndhead. I hope it doesn't turn into one. But the guy isn't taking the answers we are giving him for what they are worth. We tell him it won't be until conference if at all. But every week he asks "how is his weight", "what is he thinking", "when is he going to drop"
Does it turn into one because if the dad is crawling up my backside and talking to my kid after practice is he going home and bitching to his kid? I already notice that the other kid is avoiding the 160 that may drop to challenge for 152. I hope it doesn't happen with my kid. They need to be partners in the room. And remember...we are the new guys. I was hoping for some advice from folks that have had the "new kid" in the room and have had to deal with the new kid taking away someone's spot.
Roo you are probably right...that may be the cleanest way to end it...and maybe it just isn't fixable.
Angry Fish...my kid has made a decision...he will see how he feels mid-January and make his decision then...not mid-December. Alot can change in the next month. He may grow and cutting to 152 may be tough in a month.
Also in regards to not having to sacrifice much to go to the lower weight? The other kid skin folded...weighed 163 and pinched down to 145 at 7%. My kid weighed 147.5 at skin fold and had to have the 5% sign off to be able to come down to 145. I probably should have shared that information in the beginning...I just didn't want to start a weight cutting debate.
IMO, bkraus nailed it. Follow his advice, for starters.
Quote from: imnofish on December 17, 2015, 01:09:04 PM
IMO, bkraus nailed it. Follow his advice, for starters.
Wait, what? Really? ;D
Quote from: Mack on December 17, 2015, 10:43:55 AM
I would challenge the dad to a wrestle off. Done.
Thank you I spit coffee all over the table.....that was awesome and very funny.
Thanks for the thoughts and ideas guys...I do appreciate the input. Angry Fish...and BKraus I appreciate your insight...I think it gives me a place to start
Quote from: ramjet on December 17, 2015, 02:38:59 PM
Quote from: Mack on December 17, 2015, 10:43:55 AM
I would challenge the dad to a wrestle off. Done.
Thank you I spit coffee all over the table.....that was awesome and very funny.
Thank you, Ramjet. I usually have more self control, as I am often tempted to throw some jackwagonry into serious forum discussions.
I wrote and deleted other suggestions, like using mime, or breaking into song with your point of view, because we know for sure that works on TV.
That kind of foolishness makes me sound unsympathetic, which I'm not.
Tell him straight up. if he reacts violently, then he has the problem... not you. you shouldn't worry about him, except maybe feel sorry for him if he cant understand he doesn't control what your son does.
Quote from: Mack on December 18, 2015, 08:53:52 AM
Quote from: ramjet on December 17, 2015, 02:38:59 PM
Quote from: Mack on December 17, 2015, 10:43:55 AM
I would challenge the dad to a wrestle off. Done.
Thank you I spit coffee all over the table.....that was awesome and very funny.
Thank you, Ramjet. I usually have more self control, as I am often tempted to throw some jackwagonry into serious forum discussions.
I wrote and deleted other suggestions, like using mime, or breaking into song with your point of view, because we know for sure that works on TV.
That kind of foolishness makes me sound unsympathetic, which I'm not.
I laughed also,,,,,,,the mental pictures I have are priceless and I have VISA for the rest ;D ;)
Where Dale Einerson... He may have went through this when they moved to Rapids.
Face it. Every weight is tough. The least being hwt. and if u don't know why Hwt would be the easiest then seriously, tough poop.And even HWT is tough not doggin it.
I don't know of any wrestler ever who could have hung with Alex Karolyn when he wrestled. Possibly the best wrestler in history was a hwt.
Quote from: Northwoods on December 21, 2015, 04:31:06 PM
Face it. Every weight is tough. The least being hwt. and if u don't know why Hwt would be the easiest then seriously, tough poop.And even HWT is tough not doggin it.
Northwoods...interesting comment...how does it pertain to the question posed? Maybe you wanted to start a new thread called "Tough weight classes"?
We are dealing with similar situation oneshot has this year. We simply talked to the parent and explained cutting before conference was not an option and our kid (the wrestler) would keep the coach in the loop on his plans to drop or not drop to the lower weight class. That it was a discussion for the coach and the wrestler and if the coach wanted our involvement we let him know to feel free to talk to us anytime.
Not sure if that ended it but it has been quiet for a couple weeks. I have noticed that the other dad is talking to the coach much more...sorry coach
Quote from: bulldog on December 22, 2015, 07:57:38 AM
Quote from: Northwoods on December 21, 2015, 04:31:06 PM
Face it. Every weight is tough. The least being hwt. and if u don't know why Hwt would be the easiest then seriously, tough poop.And even HWT is tough not doggin it.
Northwoods...interesting comment...how does it pertain to the question posed? Maybe you wanted to start a new thread called "Tough weight classes"?
We are dealing with similar situation oneshot has this year. We simply talked to the parent and explained cutting before conference was not an option and our kid (the wrestler) would keep the coach in the loop on his plans to drop or not drop to the lower weight class. That it was a discussion for the coach and the wrestler and if the coach wanted our involvement we let him know to feel free to talk to us anytime.
Not sure if that ended it but it has been quiet for a couple weeks. I have noticed that the other dad is talking to the coach much more...sorry coach
Sounds like you handled it well, Bulldog. Hopefully, it all works out well for the rest of the season.
Thanks imnofish...I don't know if it was handled well but I hope it took the situation out of 2 parents hands and put it where it should be...in the wrestling room between the coach and the athletes. I figure the coach will either tell the other wrestler to challenge for a wrestle off or he will just have to wait and see what happens. My kid has been up front with the coach and has told them when he is thinking of dropping and said it is about 80% that he will drop at all.
Hopefully there is no animosity from the other wrestler but I don't think there is. I got a feeling in this situation it was more a parent thing then an athlete thing...
Ninety nine percent parent thing.
Quote from: littleguy301 on December 21, 2015, 07:30:35 AM
Quote from: Mack on December 18, 2015, 08:53:52 AM
Quote from: ramjet on December 17, 2015, 02:38:59 PM
Quote from: Mack on December 17, 2015, 10:43:55 AM
I would challenge the dad to a wrestle off. Done.
Thank you I spit coffee all over the table.....that was awesome and very funny.
Thank you, Ramjet. I usually have more self control, as I am often tempted to throw some jackwagonry into serious forum discussions.
I wrote and deleted other suggestions, like using mime, or breaking into song with your point of view, because we know for sure that works on TV.
That kind of foolishness makes me sound unsympathetic, which I'm not.
I laughed also,,,,,,,the mental pictures I have are priceless and I have VISA for the rest ;D ;)
I think a lot of the differences between fans and between parents could be settled by adult wrestle offs, and/or duel by sword. Just something to consider.
I have one question.
Why doesn't the coach have any say in this? Who is running the Team/Program? Very interesting!
Wrestle off.
Invite the parents to the wrestle off on full mats.
team mates remain neutral
regulation time.
controversy solved
neutral ref certified if possible
weigh in included
Quote from: ramjet on December 22, 2015, 12:36:48 PM
Wrestle off.
Invite the parents to the wrestle off on full mats.
team mates remain neutral
regulation time.
controversy solved
neutral ref certified if possible
weigh in included
Exactly!!! You gotta give the parents time to make weight though. Because that's fair.
Quote from: Mack on December 22, 2015, 01:24:39 PM
Quote from: ramjet on December 22, 2015, 12:36:48 PM
Wrestle off.
Invite the parents to the wrestle off on full mats.
team mates remain neutral
regulation time.
controversy solved
neutral ref certified if possible
weigh in included
Exactly!!! You gotta give the parents time to make weight though. Because that's fair.
half a pound day....this could take a really long time
Quote from: Ivan Stankowski on December 22, 2015, 11:57:31 AM
I have one question.
Why doesn't the coach have any say in this? Who is running the Team/Program? Very interesting!
I don't think it was indicated that the coach didn't have a say. The way I read it is that the parent has been bugging the other kid and his parents about dropping a weight class. I am guessing that the coach may have not even been aware of what this parent is doing. I don't think this is any type of reflection on the coach, team or program.
I have seen for years parents talking to each other before season to "get a feel" where kids on the team may be going. I don't think I have ever had a coach involved in these "on the side" conversations.
Quote from: imwi on December 22, 2015, 01:38:13 PM
Quote from: Mack on December 22, 2015, 01:24:39 PM
Quote from: ramjet on December 22, 2015, 12:36:48 PM
Wrestle off.
Invite the parents to the wrestle off on full mats.
team mates remain neutral
regulation time.
controversy solved
neutral ref certified if possible
weigh in included
Exactly!!! You gotta give the parents time to make weight though. Because that's fair.
half a pound day....this could take a really long time
You got one parent at 150 and one at 350. That gives 350 more than a year to make weight. By then, they may not remember why they're wrestling off. Either way, problem solved.
The other parent is asking a legitimate question and all he wants is a fair answer.
Just be honest. Tell him what you have told us, that your son plans to stay
at his current weight and is considering dropping to 145 for conference, but
has not made up his mind yet.
Quote from: bulldog on December 22, 2015, 01:51:20 PM
Quote from: Ivan Stankowski on December 22, 2015, 11:57:31 AM
I have one question.
Why doesn't the coach have any say in this? Who is running the Team/Program? Very interesting!
I don't think it was indicated that the coach didn't have a say. The way I read it is that the parent has been bugging the other kid and his parents about dropping a weight class. I am guessing that the coach may have not even been aware of what this parent is doing. I don't think this is any type of reflection on the coach, team or program.
I have seen for years parents talking to each other before season to "get a feel" where kids on the team may be going. I don't think I have ever had a coach involved in these "on the side" conversations.
Let the coaches coach , let them decide where what kid should go where, I know that is a novel idea, but parents need to be parents and coaches shopuld be allowed to be coaches. Just Saying!!
billymurphy: what you know here is what we have told the parent. AND we have told him that it is between the coach and the wrestler. We will offer our kid advice (as I assume any parent would do) but the coach and wrestler will figure it out how they want to handle it.
Ivan Stankowski: Yes, it is a novel idea. That wasn't the question or the issue. We were letting the coach coach. It was the other parent talking to the kid that is the problem. Are you suggesting we look at the parent and tell him to go talk to the coach? We have tried to stay out of it. We have told him it is the coaches decision...he still is sitting in the stands bitchin that his kid isn't getting the spot.
Mack and ramjet - I really came on this forum looking for advice...maybe you should start a thread that is labeled "pointless comments". I don't believe parents wrestling off for their kids weight class or challenging another parent will solve any problems.
The point was new kid in new school trying to fit in. Trying to handle a situation without telling a pushy parent to just back off.
And I am shocked that nobody seemed to have a problem with this dad talking to our son about his plans. To me that was stepping over the line.
Bkraus...thanks for being one of the few to actually offer advice.
Quote from: oneshot on December 22, 2015, 03:24:13 PM
billymurphy: what you know here is what we have told the parent. AND we have told him that it is between the coach and the wrestler. We will offer our kid advice (as I assume any parent would do) but the coach and wrestler will figure it out how they want to handle it.
Ivan Stankowski: Yes, it is a novel idea. That wasn't the question or the issue. We were letting the coach coach. It was the other parent talking to the kid that is the problem. Are you suggesting we look at the parent and tell him to go talk to the coach? We have tried to stay out of it. We have told him it is the coaches decision...he still is sitting in the stands bitchin that his kid isn't getting the spot.
Mack and ramjet - I really came on this forum looking for advice...maybe you should start a thread that is labeled "pointless comments". I don't believe parents wrestling off for their kids weight class or challenging another parent will solve any problems.
The point was new kid in new school trying to fit in. Trying to handle a situation without telling a pushy parent to just back off.
And I am shocked that nobody seemed to have a problem with this dad talking to our son about his plans. To me that was stepping over the line.
Bkraus...thanks for being one of the few to actually offer advice.
You are right, Oneshot. I am sorry I started that nonsense, for real. I don't actually think parent wrestle offs are a good answer.
Quote from: Ivan Stankowski on December 22, 2015, 02:45:38 PM
Quote from: bulldog on December 22, 2015, 01:51:20 PM
Quote from: Ivan Stankowski on December 22, 2015, 11:57:31 AM
I have one question.
Why doesn't the coach have any say in this? Who is running the Team/Program? Very interesting!
I don't think it was indicated that the coach didn't have a say. The way I read it is that the parent has been bugging the other kid and his parents about dropping a weight class. I am guessing that the coach may have not even been aware of what this parent is doing. I don't think this is any type of reflection on the coach, team or program.
I have seen for years parents talking to each other before season to "get a feel" where kids on the team may be going. I don't think I have ever had a coach involved in these "on the side" conversations.
Let the coaches coach , let them decide where what kid should go where, I know that is a novel idea, but parents need to be parents and coaches shopuld be allowed to be coaches. Just Saying!!
Once the coach sets up how to decide who wrestles where on a team, you need to follow that rule. IF the coach says HE will decide where the kids wrestle, then HE will make that decision on a match by match basis. IF the coach decides that WRESTLE OFFS decide who gets each spot, then HE needs to set up the parameters of those wrestle offs and the team will follow that.
I am taking it that this coach decided wrestle offs are the way to go (which I agree). Then you need to follow those rules of the time and signing up of the wrestle offs which I believe all did.
I also agree that the parent of the kid that didn't win the spot but would like to get the spot when the wrestler that won moves down can talk to the other PARENT about this, but not repeatedly.
I also agree that that parent should NEVER talk to the other wrestler about it EVER. It's not his job at all to talk to another minor and ask that. He can talk to the parent (limited) and coach (up to coach on how limited). I know it's an emotional sport, but as a parent we need to be the responsible ones.
I do think parents and kids not just from their own team but also parents and athletes from other teams frequently inquire about wrestlers and what weight they are going to wrestle for conference and in the upcoming year. In regards to just letting the coaches coach I would agree as long as as every kid is given a opportunity to compete and safety is taking into consideration. Every kid should be given a opportunity to compete for a varsity spot on the team not the coach saying this is the line up for the year before the year starts and there is nothing can be done for I am the coach. In regards to safety a coach shouldn't setup JV matches where a 95 lb kid wrestles a 127 lb or a 106 lbs wrestler wrestles a 139 lbs wrestler even for exhibition match unless the wrestlers and perhaps parents are ok with it due to weight differences. There should be no ramifications if the athletes choices not to participate in those matches.
As a parent I think everyone wants their child to have the same opportunity to wrestle just as everyone else not just have a weight class just given to a athlete that the coach wants to have a slot instead earned via a wrestle off. Otherwise that gives the appearance of favoritism and can cause animosity with the team. Then that's also teaching the kids their hard work in practice and their skills and talent doesn't matter. At that point you can and do have the coaches "athletes" dont practice all a previous week and the current week and still compete because the coach wants them at that weight slot because the coaches have the ultimate say so.
Ivan...maybe i misunderstood your comment. If your comment was meant to tell oneshot to tell the other parent to "let the coaches coach" then I agree fully with your input. That is probably the best advice...
I think this thread is getting derailed somewhat. It has nothing to do with a coach...there is nothing in the original post about the involvement of the coach or nothing about the coach making the decision. As I understand it the coach was not even aware of the issue and it seems oneshot HAS discussed with the coach about their son's plans on what weight he is going to go.
The post was how to handle another parent pushing for something that in my opinion, he doesn't need to be involved in but as the NEW kid at the school oneshot is trying to handled a tough situation with kid gloves so as not to have his kid possibly alienated. Some guys are posting coaches should be making these decisions. That isn't the topic...
The situation we were involved in turned out the kid was going home and telling his dad that the coach would not give him a wrestle off. Somewhat true...the other kid was lbs overweight and the coach set rules that you had to be within 3 lbs of the weight you wanted to wrestle off for. I don't know why the dad didn't go talk to the coach...but he felt he would talk to us first. Again...we directed him to talk to the coach...then the truth came out
Quote from: bulldog on December 23, 2015, 08:15:59 AM
Ivan...maybe i misunderstood your comment. If your comment was meant to tell oneshot to tell the other parent to "let the coaches coach" then I agree fully with your input. That is probably the best advice...
I think this thread is getting derailed somewhat. It has nothing to do with a coach...there is nothing in the original post about the involvement of the coach or nothing about the coach making the decision. As I understand it the coach was not even aware of the issue and it seems oneshot HAS discussed with the coach about their son's plans on what weight he is going to go.
The post was how to handle another parent pushing for something that in my opinion, he doesn't need to be involved in but as the NEW kid at the school oneshot is trying to handled a tough situation with kid gloves so as not to have his kid possibly alienated. Some guys are posting coaches should be making these decisions. That isn't the topic...
The situation we were involved in turned out the kid was going home and telling his dad that the coach would not give him a wrestle off. Somewhat true...the other kid was lbs overweight and the coach set rules that you had to be within 3 lbs of the weight you wanted to wrestle off for. I don't know why the dad didn't go talk to the coach...but he felt he would talk to us first. Again...we directed him to talk to the coach...then the truth came out
BINGO we have a winner ;D
Let the coach set the parameters. If you have no complaints with them at the start of the season, forever hold your peace. I think it's good practice to have a certain limit above a weight the kid wants to wrestle off for. You don't win the wrestle off, then cut. Unhealthy, IMHO.
Good coach!
Wrestling is an individual sport where they keep team points. In the end do what's best for your kid. I noticed that you said you moved into a new town. If you're from another state the weight classes change in Wisconsin as the year goes on. They move up 1 lb then another lb. Also know that you can only cut 1/2 lb per day. So if your kid wants to move down in weight be sure there wasn't a weigh in a few days before.
For anyone who says a coach should decide where a kid wrestles... Nope. Only if it's a dual meet to qualify for state. That's the only time. Individual qualifiers, or dual meets like conference meets, or triangulars or tournaments, that's a parent/wrestler decision. Only team regional, sectionals, and state should a coach get a say. Then he should only be moving kids up in weight not down.
Quote from: Oldtimer on December 21, 2015, 09:50:32 AM
Where Dale Einerson... He may have went through this when they moved to Rapids.
Lodi, Rapids, University of Dubuque, UWL...same answer. It is up to the Coach.
Every Coach has their own way of taking all into consideration and managing the individual athletes and the teams they look after. It isn't a simple answer, but the Coach typically wants to put the best team on the mat and the competition in a dual or tournament may mean some moving around anyway. Further, some wrestlers may perform far better at higher weight classes, rather than cutting down, which tends to be further enhanced by the bell curve as you move away in any direction from 152...
Moving to a new district, or Freshmen entering the team, kids growing significantly, or the heavies that drop considerably after working rigorously, all create unique challenges for Coaches, athletes, parents and fans. And, one of the best parts of wrestling v any other sport...the wrestle offs.
Sadly, we did see 1 or 2 very accomplished wrestlers with state experience and state placement accomplishments not continue with the team in Rapids. Come team tournament time they would have had significant impacts and likely would have relished the team accomplishments...this from a 5'6" Senior in high school that was the 12th man on the basketball team.
Thanks for the input Dale....FYI, After several weeks of the parent hounding us and our kid about where he was going and and when he was going there we finally told the other parent that the decision was not ours. It was between our kid and the coach to make the decision as to what was best for the wrestler and best for the team.
That got the parent off our backs and onto the coaches. Maybe we kind of "passed the buck". From what I have been told, the coach told the other parent that the spot was our kids as long as he wanted to stay there but anytime any wrestler wanted to challenge for a wrestle off for the spot it could be challenged. (There are some rules that the team has pertaining wrestle offs). I guess the coach told the other parent that if his son wanted the spot he would have to challenge for a wrestle off or wait and see if the spot opened up.
It seems to have ended the questioning...not sure if there are hard feelings but I guess we cannot be concerned about that. Seemed pretty simple from the beginning
I personally don't see it as passing the buck, I see it as recognizing and respecting the Coaches who work so hard and long with these guys.
There are life lessons in here. While this is just a wrestling season, the takeaways can last a lifetime...from, there is always somebody better, to, what did you do in the off season to prepare, to, how you handle this will say a lot about the character you are developing...
I just recalled Logan's Freshman year. He certified at 119; so did Tony Madigan, and Jake Madigan was at 125. So, Logan wrestled 130. For the most part went well. Was a rougher start when all of those guys bumped up to avoid Jake to get to the Freshman, but by the end of the year Logan was more than holding his own. Didn't make it to state, some studs from Dodgeville and River Valley saw to that, that and the fact only 2 come out of Regionals in D2...but he survived, and so did we. He grew up; so did I.
It strikes me that we all like to say wrestling is the best sport and one of the reasons is the character building that goes on, sometimes character is built in disappointment. Making it temporary is probably the key.
Well thought out and well said Dale...I agree...it was not passing the buck, just directing the question to the person that should be answering it.
Quote from: ramjet on December 28, 2015, 12:14:33 PM
Quote from: oneshot on December 22, 2015, 03:24:13 PM
Mack and ramjet - I really came on this forum looking for advice...maybe you should start a thread that is labeled "pointless comments". I don't believe parents wrestling off for their kids weight class or challenging another parent will solve any problems.
Well I will say this then; Why take a situation and ask parenting advice from a bunch of faceless nameless people on the Internet? Be an adult and parent and handle this situation.......how is that for a serious answer?
Ramjet...Is your comment directed at me calling you out for hijacking a post to practice your stand-up routine. If so then...WOW...that is about the biggest A-Hole answer I have seen on this forum. Maybe you should re-read it. Also...How does asking a question of other have any bearing on if you are an adult?
If you read the question it was not asking for anything related to parenting advice...whatsoever. BUT asking a question regarding how others would handle a situation is a great way to be an adult AND a parent.
For you to reply this way would indicate...you are not an adult and not a parent (age and sperm contribution does not necessarily make you an adult or a parent). Once I had kids I asked more questions of others then I did before I had kids. Some call that maturity.
Also, wouldn't asking for advice from others that may have been in the same situation indicate a rather mature person? I guess I have never felt I couldn't learn from others. Must be nice that you are so blessed that others don't have anything to offer you. Or is it better to stomp your feet and tell others to "Be an adult and handle the situation"? Because your answer sure seems helpful.
It was a serious question...I guess you are one of those people that never ask for advice. Keep your words of wisdom in mind next time you ask for information? The answer everyone should give you from this point forward whenever you ask a question is "Be an adult and parent and handle this situation". Nice...answer. Hey...when your kid gets to be an adult give them the same answer...
Very "ADULT" of you ramjet...
AND...I do have to say, Mack was ADULT enough to admit that his shot at humor really did nothing to help the conversation. That seemed to be an adult response. Thank you Mack.
I don't have a problem with the "cute/funny" little sidebars many of the threads take sometimes but it was very early in the thread and it was turning into a nonsense string about calling out another parent and challenging him to a wrestle off. That was not helping....
Quote from: oneshot on December 28, 2015, 01:41:45 PM
AND...I do have to say, Mack was ADULT enough to admit that his shot at humor really did nothing to help the conversation.
BTW - Mack is a gal, I'm pretty sure anything to the contrary will be a shock to Mack's hubby.
HA!!! Yes...I will lighten up...now that I know Mack is a female that makes her comments so much better. Thanks ElectricGuy for pointing that out. If those comments came from a guy then I guess it would have been different. The gender of Mack really made a difference didn't it?
And Ramjet...I apologize...your advice is genius.
Let's see..ramreject says: "Have the parents wrestle off"..."be an adult and parent and handle this situation"..."LOL...Lighten up for crying out loud"
think about it ramreject...kid starts new school. Has a parent (not another student) asking him repetitively about his weight class plans. Not a parent he knows (because he is new). Said parent is being rather vocal about it.
And YOU feel it is all okay? Gotcha...
Maybe I am being a bit touchy about this because it is a kid and he is trying to fit in but I will take ramitupyourjet's advice and challenge this parent to a wrestle off because that is funny and good advice....
Oneshot, you do realize that you're the one fanning the flames here, right? A couple people tried to crack a few harmless jokes in the middle of a fairly earnest discussion and you got really upset by what is fairly normal message board behavior. No one was insulting anyone until you got bent out of shape over nothing. Now you have a little whizzing match going with ramjet and you're trying to see just how childish you can get with it.
You started out with a serious question, got several sincere replies and then lashed out over a tiny offense. The net result may be that people who took you seriously now kind of see you as someone who is easily offended and likes to paint himself as a victim. Casts doubt on everything you say. Sorry if that's harsh, but you seem to want things to be very earnest.
firemanscary...you are right...I let the jabs get to me because I felt ramjet and mack were making light of something I saw as a rather serious topic. I don't like to see some of the topics that start out as interesting topics turn into a series of juvenile jabs that happens sometimes but you are right. It is typically light fun. Ramjet and Mack...sorry I let may feelings on the topic get to me. I should have just ignored your fun and focused on the serious answers.
Thanks again for the good advice. Sorry guys
I gotta admit. I laughed at the wrestle off idea. Unlimited visuals.
I also think you got some nice responses. Dale should have his own weekly read in the newspaper.
Any updates on your dilemma?
In all honesty...after I thought about it...I laughed a bit too at the idea of parental wrestle offs. And I got some good thoughts from ramjet off line. Thanks for the advice ramjet.
Thanks, Oneshot. Again...sorry about that. This thread gave me flashbacks of middle and high school; my knack for goofing off always got me in trouble then too.
I did try to give sincere input about a thousand posts ago, before I got side tracked with my nonsense. I guess I think laughing isn't the worst suggestion to your quandary though. In my experience, intense emotion impairs my judgement, and makes me less likely to see things clearly/objectively. Over the years, I can't think of anything related to wrestling that has been so serious we couldn't find a way to eventually laugh about it, or poke fun at ourselves. This approach has been good for our mental health as parents, and probably good for our kids.
Just offering an explanation here. Not preaching.
And, yes, thanks a lot for outing me, Electric Guy. I'm a Mom, with a really masculine screen name, "Mack". Not sure what delusion I was experiencing when I chose that name; you can believe I get plenty of grief for it from people who know me, and are on the forum. :)
That is all.
still a faceless screen name for me Mack so no worries here.
After all the years on this forum I usually expect about any threads to have some smart butt response in them and Yes Mack yours made me laugh also though it was at the expense of oneshots situation.
oneshot, I hope you find a solution to your situation. I do feel it will play out just fine after some time though I would bet your have a head ache dealing with it up front.
hey hey hey do not going tell this group that I am trying to help, it will ruin my online tough guy persona...😀😀😀😀
In a nut shell I suggested the coach was most likely already aware of the situation and to let it work out as long one shots son was not being physically or verbally threatened. I also guessed the coach was most like already approached by the "other" parent and the coach already dealt with the situation. (Hence the parent going to plan B and approaching one shots son) Plus one shots son should just stay the course and worry about his wrestling working hard and getting better and not get caught up in the other parents misery. I also suggested that one shot NOT go to the coach as long as there is not a threat of physical or verbal harm going on. 99% of the coaches have firm and distinct grasp of what's going on in thier wrestling room.
im sad this is the top post on this forum after a couple days of great tournaments in our state.who the inappropriate term3 cares
Quote from: Grappler on December 31, 2015, 10:26:23 AM
im sad this is the top post on this forum after a couple days of great tournaments in our state.who the blazes cares
And just when you thought it was safe to come back on the forum...