Ram's hardware thread got me to thinking about those little life-lessons I seem to have to learn , over and over, year after year.
Every few months, I have to relearn that:
Fire is hot. It burns.
Some places even a 5'9" man can smack his head. That can leave a lump.
When splitting wood (maul) always check for clothes lines and other lower hanging stuff. When I was 9 I KOed myself because of a clothes line and errant sledgehammer. Told my mom I fell off the monkey bars. :)
Use those legs when you lift, dipstick. Hurt back lasts a long time.
When one uses the weed eater anywhere near poison ivy, one should definitely wear pants. No matter how hot it is, shorts will not do. Even if you can walk through an acre of the stuff and not itch, you'll find the freshly trimmed leaves/steams something you'll hope to avoid in the future. Not this guy! No sir! Too tough for that action.
Dang I'm stupid.
I could come up with some-odd 10,000 more lessons I don't seem to learn so well, but I'd like to hear how stupid some of you gents are.
In the end, I'm still a happy man, and provide many hours of priceless entertainment to family and friends without even really trying. Just gotta be me, and the laughs follow.
How stupid are you? :D
wow that knife is sharp. 🔪
LOL! Whenever my son burns himself, I'll now sarcastically say "fire...hot."
Sometime in September I cut myself pretty well dicing habaneros (double bad). And , as I stood there (my usual dumb look) trying to stop the bleeding (stuck pig), he said "knife...sharp." I repeated "mm...knife..sharp." Then I included "hot pepper...HOT."
Wise acre and all, good to have another caveman to share with.
Live and learn, or live and pay. You choose!
I have been a welder for 30 years and to this day if it is not red i must not be hot................ yah still hot!!!!!!!!!
THAT is priceless.
I bet we all have to learn the hot pizza rule every month or so. Still, we must like pickin' at all that dead skin on the roof of our mouths or we wouldn't bite into it right away.
Speaking of dumb...
Was attending a Halloween Party a couple weeks back, fully embraced the theme of Zombie Luau. However, I had to one-up that and I went as a Zombied out, luaued (as if that is a word) Richard Simmons. Spandex shorts, tank top, blond curly wig with head band. I thought I had pulled it off pretty successfully, but when I walked in the party and everyone knew who I was coming as, if that is success, then I achieved it.
So, the party organizer has us going around the city on a scavenger hunt. The first clue was verbal, the next clue was picked up at the site. It was a blast. But my team and I were struggling on the verbal clue "For what ails you," we didn't find the clue at the correct site, CVS, so I suggested we go to a redneck bar closest to the starting point, next to the CVS, suggest the verbal clue might be "for what ales you." Turns out, I outsmarted myself.
When I walked in the bar, populated with about 80 guys in camo and orange, to say there was an uproar would be understating it. It seemed like a long walk to the bartender, where I asked, "Do you have a clue for a scavenger hunt." The guy turned his back on me and walked away. Then I noticed 3 guys get up on the other side of the bar and start walking in my direction. What did I do? I started dancing like an aerobics instructor, I went with it, and I yelled "work with me people, work with me!" Everybody busted a gut, got a huge cheer, and I skedaddled, told the team to hurry up and get in the Prius, we went back to CVS and found our clue. No cuts, no bruises, no burns, but very red faced.
Dale you are starting to worry me............🃏😃
Hey Ram, I tried writing a legible complaint in your posted box, but, can't be done...
😄😄😄😄
"for what ales you."
One might incorrectly call this a "Freudian" slip. No way, this is a zymergic slip, of which I am equally guilty.
Didja stay to blow the froth of one or two, Richard? The conversation just comes to you when they realize you're human.
Well-painted scene, though. :)
:D
Common, Mag, open up! What kind of dumb things have you done?
Quote from: Dale Einerson on November 12, 2014, 09:45:37 AM
Speaking of dumb...
Was attending a Halloween Party a couple weeks back, fully embraced the theme of Zombie Luau. However, I had to one-up that and I went as a Zombied out, luaued (as if that is a word) Richard Simmons. Spandex shorts, tank top, blond curly wig with head band. I thought I had pulled it off pretty successfully, but when I walked in the party and everyone knew who I was coming as, if that is success, then I achieved it.
So, the party organizer has us going around the city on a scavenger hunt. The first clue was verbal, the next clue was picked up at the site. It was a blast. But my team and I were struggling on the verbal clue "For what ails you," we didn't find the clue at the correct site, CVS, so I suggested we go to a redneck bar closest to the starting point, next to the CVS, suggest the verbal clue might be "for what ales you." Turns out, I outsmarted myself.
When I walked in the bar, populated with about 80 guys in camo and orange, to say there was an uproar would be understating it. It seemed like a long walk to the bartender, where I asked, "Do you have a clue for a scavenger hunt." The guy turned his back on me and walked away. Then I noticed 3 guys get up on the other side of the bar and start walking in my direction. What did I do? I started dancing like an aerobics instructor, I went with it, and I yelled "work with me people, work with me!" Everybody busted a gut, got a huge cheer, and I skedaddled, told the team to hurry up and get in the Prius, we went back to CVS and found our clue. No cuts, no bruises, no burns, but very red faced.
http://www.msn.com/en-us/entertainment/celebrity/richard-simmons-has-withdrawn-from-friends-has-debilitating-depression/ar-BBdyQik?ocid=iehp
You sure this ain't you?
Not poking fun at depression, though. Scary thing in real life.
I have worked asphalt now for 22 years but at some point of any given year I for some strange reason will pick up a hand full of hot mix with my bare hand and burn myself. As I type my index finger still has a scab but is doing much better ;D
I can proudly say "moron" and say it directly to me ;)
I thought I have learned one lesson and for years I have done well but just lately I sat down on the Ferguson and did some business only to look over and NO TOILET PAPER! Man I thought that was the first thing for years I did, look for toilet paper and then put the lid down. I thought it was repetition and ingrained in my head but I guess not.
Over or under?
I believe under is the way nature intended AW. The wife disagrees.
Quote from: bigG on November 17, 2014, 06:52:06 AM
Over or under?
I believe under is the way nature intended AW. The wife disagrees.
over
paper stand two rolls no wall mount.......🙊
You're a sick man.
No wall mount?! :o
We gotta get you otta dat cave! ::)
I'm glad you didn't find an emoticon for this one. :)
yes this thread has gone to the 🚽
I've had a partial upper plate since I was 17 (errant takedown defense), yet I still occasionally forget to put it in when eating popcorn or hot food. I've been fishing since I was 4, but I still forget to open the bail on my reel before taking the lure/hook off the keeper; the darn rod keeps flexing and hooking my finger. Despite being married to the same woman for 41 years, I still sometimes forget to wipe off the kitchen counter or immediately put my dirty clothes in the hamper. At age 61, I just might qualify for a learning disability. ;D
Quote from: imnofish on November 17, 2014, 12:20:24 PM
I've had a partial upper plate since I was 17 (errant takedown defense), yet I still occasionally forget to put it in when eating popcorn or hot food. I've been fishing since I was 4, but I still forget to open the bail on my reel before taking the lure/hook off the keeper; the darn rod keeps flexing and hooking my finger. Despite being married to the same woman for 41 years, I still sometimes forget to wipe off the kitchen counter or immediately put my dirty clothes in the hamper. At age 61, I just might qualify for a learning disability. ;D
This may or may not be the determining factor, can you see socks and/or underwear on the floor or are you entirely oblivious?
And, did you stop that particular takedown?
Quote from: Dale Einerson on November 20, 2014, 02:27:57 PM
Quote from: imnofish on November 17, 2014, 12:20:24 PM
I've had a partial upper plate since I was 17 (errant takedown defense), yet I still occasionally forget to put it in when eating popcorn or hot food. I've been fishing since I was 4, but I still forget to open the bail on my reel before taking the lure/hook off the keeper; the darn rod keeps flexing and hooking my finger. Despite being married to the same woman for 41 years, I still sometimes forget to wipe off the kitchen counter or immediately put my dirty clothes in the hamper. At age 61, I just might qualify for a learning disability. ;D
This may or may not be the determining factor, can you see socks and/or underwear on the floor or are you entirely oblivious?
Yes, and I even put them in the hamper.... but, my timing ? ;D
And, did you stop that particular takedown? Yes, I did! Unfortunately, the resulting injury and surgery ended my season, though. :P
Quote from: bigG on November 17, 2014, 06:52:06 AM
Over or under?
I believe under is the way nature intended AW. The wife disagrees.
UNDER!!!!!! now that my daughter has moved home and now of all things shares a bathroom with me, it is a battle for the ages on the over/under thing and come to think about it, that was the reason for the lack of TP in my previous post!
I was brung up under and I'll die under!!!!
You "over" people make me sick!!
If TP had instructions, that would be included.
"Over" is most logical, because the "tail" of the roll is always away from the wall upon which the holder is mounted.
Maybe I want my tail closer to the wall. Ever think o' dat? Hmm?
But being closer to the wall, it does NOT allow it to wave to much thus keeping the roll more stiffer ;)
Plus if it is over, and you have house animals it is much easier for those animals to unroll the roll. You have to have a smart house pet to figure out to roll backwards to do the same ;)
Quote from: littleguy301 on November 24, 2014, 03:18:40 PM
But being closer to the wall, it does NOT allow it to wave to much thus keeping the roll more stiffer ;)
Plus if it is over, and you have house animals it is much easier for those animals to unroll the roll. You have to have a smart house pet to figure out to roll backwards to do the same ;)
Pot belly pigs and goats are the worse.....🐷 🐐
My cat, dog, and bird all know better than to mess with the old man's tp. Keeping the paper away from the wall can be a great help in keeping that wall nice and clean, when you have to go back for seconds. ;D
Maybe you use your TP in a slightly different order than do I. My wall/TP tail don't get dirty.
Sure you got your order right?
Ram, the only goat/pig in your house would be in the freezer.
I never have that problem, either, but some of my guests kinda' worry me in that regard. ;D
Quote from: imnofish on November 24, 2014, 11:49:49 PM
My cat, dog, and bird all know better than to mess with the old man's tp. Keeping the paper away from the wall can be a great help in keeping that wall nice and clean, when you have to go back for seconds. ;D
Wow - if you are getting the wall dirty, you might have some bigger problems........
Fish, you do know the TP has perforated edges so you can tear it off and use only a few pieces at a time, right.
The invention of the toilet is attributed to the Polish. It was the Italians, though, who came up with the hole in the seat for greater efficiency. :)
If you know how to do it right, you can do the job with just one square... or so I've been told. ;)
"Not a square to spare."
Quote from: imnofish on November 25, 2014, 10:07:35 PM
If you know how to do it right, you can do the job with just one square... or so I've been told. ;)
You left out the finger with the one square joke ;)
Quote from: littleguy301 on November 26, 2014, 08:06:28 AM
Quote from: imnofish on November 25, 2014, 10:07:35 PM
If you know how to do it right, you can do the job with just one square... or so I've been told. ;)
You left out the finger with the one square joke ;)
You caught my reference! 8) Just be sure to save that little portion that you tear out to make the finger hole. It really comes in handy for cleaning under your finger nail. ;D
How 'bout dem Packers? :-[
I cook and bake all the time. Still try taking things out of the oven without mitts. Ouch.
Quote from: bigG on December 01, 2014, 06:41:23 AM
How 'bout dem Packers? :-[
I cook and bake all the time. Still try taking things out of the oven without mitts. Ouch.
I see your still learning the "hot dont touch" lesson my mom always said. I dont know how many times I have burned myself when I knew that it was hot :-\ maybe in some deep twisted way I still do the opposite my mom always told me NOT to do. Now if that was my dad that told me as a youth, I would never burn myself ;)
Grandpa always asked if i learned a leason if i would say no he would say do it again.
Our son learned "hot" by grabbing the hot oven rack when his mom had just pulled a loaf of bread from the oven. Nasty burn, but he never did it again. Some lessons end up being more painful than necessary. :P
Those tend to be the ones learnt best. I must not have been burnt bad enough. My brother, who dumped an entire coffee pot onto himself when he was three never has the burn issues I do. Why I never maul near clotheslines. :) That one smarted.
We finally just gave up on clotheslines, as a matter of public safety.
I still live on the edge. Got clothesline, and we play real Jarts. Hard to find parts for the Jarts, these days.
Never thought of installing a cloths line at my home. To many troubles as a youth with the one we had and what I remembered the most is walking out in the rain to put the cloths away :o and that was usually when my cloths were hanging ;D
Bad memories there, for me... Back in our days of poverty, we used to do our laundry in the bathtub, wring it out by hand, then hang it on the clothesline. During the winter, it would freeze dry. It wasn't the softest stuff to wear, but at least it was clean.
My mom always had one the length of the basement for winter. I enjoyed washing my clothes by hand when I lived in S. America. Love the smell of their laundry soap.
Speaking of laundry. I've learned to only use cold water, as the hot can make mixing whites with colors a little more of a sharing experience.
Another "dumb-me" lesson I have to learn, over and and over, is that cell phones don't wash well. this is why i miss my little flip phone. That sucker lasted 4 washes and kept on tickin'. Slide out, not as well.
Quote from: bigG on December 02, 2014, 12:01:59 PM
My mom always had one the length of the basement for winter. I enjoyed washing my clothes by hand when I lived in S. America. Love the smell of their laundry soap.
Common man! You just enjoyed visiting around the comunal basin in the market square with the locals while you laundered...the soap smell, it smells of an excuse to commune... ;)
I wish that were the case. Our laundry was in the back yard, washboard-shaped concrete and the coldest water running out of it. You earn your laundry! :)
At the time we were freeze drying our laundry, we lived in the projects, so there was no basement. Glad nobody swiped our clothes, though. Maybe frozen underwear is just not attractive to thieves?
Ravaged my house this morning, looking for my missing keys. All this, while my truck was warming up...keys in ignition. :-\
Quote from: bigG on December 04, 2014, 08:07:15 AM
Ravaged my house this morning, looking for my missing keys. All this, while my truck was warming up...keys in ignition. :-\
My wife had this same problem. I solved it for her with what she still claims is "the best Christmas present ever"
Remote Starter
Quote from: bigG on December 04, 2014, 08:07:15 AM
Ravaged my house this morning, looking for my missing keys. All this, while my truck was warming up...keys in ignition. :-\
Oh my...I think we have a winner!
Quote from: bigG on December 04, 2014, 08:07:15 AM
Ravaged my house this morning, looking for my missing keys. All this, while my truck was warming up...keys in ignition. :-\
That made me laugh outloud only because it sounds like something I would do....🚙🔑
It only gets worse........👹
I once lost my car keys for a week, only to find them in the freezer. That's what happens when you have your freezer in the garage and you put groceries away as soon as you park your car. That's my story and I'm stickin' to it... ;D
Jeez, that's dumb!!! ;)
Let's see.....
Two times... TWICE I have purchased a gallon of ice cream... brought it home, opened the freezer and somehow set the gallon of ice cream on the top of the freezer... only to figure it out the next day... (too late)... I think I was clearing space in freezer and got side tracked... D'OH....
Haven't purchased a gallon of ice cream for over ten years now... probably afraid to ruin it...
LOL!! Been there. Stuff gets gooey behind the fridge.